Kennywood: King Of The Amusement Park Hill

Achievement: #28. Go to Kennywood

I am about to make a statement that you will think, initially, is Yinzery, but I am here to assure you that is the absolute truth. And you should trust me, because I’ve lived in Los Angeles, so I must know everything.

Kennywood is the absolute best amusement park in the history of all amusement parks.

And I have been to Knott’s Berry Farm, and Canada’s Wonderland, and Cedar Point. Oh, and I’ve been to Coney Island, and all those crappy carny places in Wildwood, NJ, which means I am SERIOUS BUSINESS when it comes to amusement parks.

That being said, Michael and I had somehow missed a Kennywood trip since, oh, maybe 2004? It was time to avenge our lost chances at memories!

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We opted to hit Kennywood on what was easily one of the hottest days of the year. That was a poor choice (because I am terrified of the amount of germs floating in the water of the Raging Rapids, and consequently will not ride it). This is the only picture of the whole day where my hair looks cute, standing outside the entrance to the park.

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One of the first rides we hit was the Musik Express, which is one of our favorites. This ride goes around in circles on a hilly track, and they play popular music. I can’t stress enough how important it is to get a good song when your turn to ride starts. Or, at least, that was really important in the late ’90s, and should therefore be important now!

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Here we are at the end of the ride, which is why Michael’s hair is all crazy 🙂

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Next, we were off to the Potato Patch, home of the greatest French fries in the city of Pittsburgh! The Potato Patch has all sorts of options for different seasonings, and there is something about the fountain pop here that just puts it above and beyond other fountain pop (and miles beyond fountain ‘soda’ ;).

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These are the delicious fries of which I write. We got ours with heavenly garlic salt. Even on a hot day, these things are perfect!

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And after eating all those fries, you can’t do any spinny rides just yet, so the logical choice is to walk just behind the Potato Patch booth and ride the Thunderbolt. The Thunderbolt is the world’s greatest rollercoaster, hands down. I loooove wooden rollercoasters, and ride them any time we go to an amusement park, but nothing beats the Thunderbolt. As soon as the car leaves the station, you are on a hill already, and they just keep getting better as the ride goes on.

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My very best ‘omg I just rode that’ face at the Thunderbolt mural. That’s Kenny Kangaroo in the front car in the painting, who is Kennywood’s famous mascot.

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Next, we tried out the new ghost ride, which replaced the old coal miner ride. In this 21st Century masterpiece, you shoot ghosts with a laser gun. It’s like Ghostbusters in HD. I sucked at it SO badly, but Michael kept us protected!

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And the heat was just killing us by this point, so we were off to the longest line of the day – the Log Jammer. This is the ‘tamest’ splash-wise of the water rides at Kennywood, but it like a mini-water-rollercoaster. I forgot quite how rickety the ride feels at the top, but coming down the final hill for the last splash is so fun!

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…until you realize that all you wanted was to cool off, and the only part of you that got hit with any water was your crotch. Teehee.

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After another snack, we rode the Kangaroo, which is one of those classic Kennywood rides you have to go on… except that Michael somehow never had! So here is his first Kangaroo experience!

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And our final ride of the day was the Enterprise. Yes, I know it says ‘Volcano,’ but like the Civic Arena will always be such in my heart, this ride will forever be the Enterprise. Kennywood had installed a new ride called the King Kahuna a few years back (ok, like 8 years back, I’m old), and to keep with the ‘island’ theme, they renamed the Enterprise. But guess what? The King Kahuna is just a Kennywood memory, but the Enterprise remains. One of these days, I’m going to start a ‘take back the Enterprise’ campaign, I swear it! 🙂

We had a wonderful time, but we swear that next year, we’re going to go on a chilly day when the lines are just as short, but we don’t get overwhelmed by the sun and be forced to ride those filthy Raging Rapids. 🙂

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Filed under #28, #28-10, amusement park, kennywood, pittsburgh, summer

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