You know, there’s a saying out there, “You’re not a true Yinzer until you’ve experienced the Big Butler Fair.”
I mean, I like to think there’s a saying like that, because let’s not kid ourselves, the Big Butler Fair is serious business. If you’ve never been, you need to get ready to have your face melted by the upcoming massive amounts of livestock photos and truck pull pollution. (I kind of mean it about the pollution, someday, too many truck pulls are going to melt all of our faces, Terminator-style.)
My fabulous, ultra-sheltered husband had never been to the Big Butler Fair. Can you imagine that? Never, had he ever, milked a goat while others looked on and laughed! (More on the goat milking later…) His first impression as we pulled into the parking lot (directed by parking attendants who were wearing neon orange on top – smart, so we can see them – and camo on the bottom – so they could… hide?) was, “Wow. This is certainly… rural.”
And weird-looking alpacas that resemble a cross between a truffula tree and Kristin Wiig’s Angela Dixon disco weatherlady.
After the disappointment of learning my husband would not be milking a goat any time soon, I had to deal with my sadness by visiting horses. And by that, I mean every horse. And reading their little awards, and learning which ones did jumping, and which ones did western riding, and which ones did showmanship. I don’t even really know what all of those things mean, but I was like, “HELLO MAGGIE, LOOK AT YOU AND YOUR SHOWMANSHIP AWARD, GOOD JOB” to basically every horse there.
After all of this excitement, it was time for the truck pulls. They are just what they sound like: trucks pullin’ stuff. I think I spent the majority of the truck pull cringing, thinking about all of the car maintenance tips my dad has drilled into me in the past 13+ years, and how this was going against all of them.
Michael had never had an elephant ear before! These are not to be confused with funnel cakes, because there’s something different in the flavor and composition of the treats. Something less sweet, but still deliciously bad for you in an elephant ear!
So we had a totally awesome time at the Big Butler Fair, and I have no doubt that we will return sometime soon. And then, we will arrive early enough to allow my husband to fulfill his goat-milking potential.