Pub Golf In Space: An Epic Journey

Achievement: #23. Pub Golf in Space | #4. Posing with Statues

So, for the last several years, Fox and I have hosted a city-spanning tour of Pittsburgh’s bars known as…101 Achievements Pub Golf. It is a 17-hour, half-marathon-length trek on foot that touches down at 18 different bars around town. As we travel, we gain and lose folk from stop to stop, giving out printed maps, check-in stickers, and pub golf buttons to wear along the way. Each stop has an assigned par of 1, 2, or 3, which is more a recommendation than a rule. Par translates as such:

Par 1: Order a shot or a cheap beer
Par 2: Order a basic mixed drink
Par 3: Order a proper cocktail

Pub Golf 2017 Map
This is the route we went this year, starting in the South Side, working our way over to Downtown, up through the Strip District, into Lawrenceville, over to Bloomfield, and then Shadyside, ending in Squirrel Hill. This was our fourth year hosting Pub Golf, and happily, it was our most successful — so for the first time ever, we’re actually managing to document the damn thing.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
As has become tradition, the first round of the day was at Jack’s Bar on the South Side, at 7:30am. (Yes, you read that right.) Since it was breakfast time, we began the day with Cinnamon Toast Crunch shots (equal parts Fireball and Rumchata).

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Joining us for that first round, for the fourth time in four years, was our friend (and Pub Golfer Emerita) Linda.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Linda also joined us for the second round, our big breakfast-and-mimosas stop at Piper’s Pub.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
From there, we began the nearly-two-mile walk to our next stop downtown. We always do our best to pick the most scenic route possible. For instance…look, it’s the spot where Ben Roethlisberger had his motorcycle accident!

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We made it downtown to The Commoner right on schedule, reaching the bar at 10am. There we had our first proper cocktails, as you can see from their fancy garnishes.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
This is also where we started to pick up more golfers! (And a very welcome photo-bomber.)

On our way to the fourth stop, we discovered an alleyway that held an array of colorful chairs.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
…Clearly, we were meant to use them for a quick photo shoot.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
As we continued through downtown, we crossed paths with a 5K that happened to be occurring. We noticed that one vendor was promoting Hoist, a brand of electrolyte water. That seemed like it would be useful, so one of our members, Gail (standing beside the tree), quickly went over to the Hoist table and somehow finagled an entire case of the stuff for our group. We quickly promoted Gail to Pub Golf Public Relations Coordinator.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Re-hydrated and ready to rumble, we stopped in at Ten Penny for the fourth round.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
For our fifth stop, we went around the corner to check out the new downtown tacos-and-margaritas spot, Condado Tacos. We were trying it sight-unseen, and it turned out to be fantastic! The tequila selection was nice, and the tacos were varied and very tasty.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Here’s some delicious queso that Gail somehow persuaded management to give us. We immediately promoted Gail to Vice President of Pub Golf Media Relations.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
As we departed downtown, we posed with some signage that obviously must have been modified just for us. (And yes, we lugged that tripod all around town all day. Why wouldn’t we?)

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Next, we trucked up to the Strip District to catch a round of proper cocktails (and some bacon) at Bar Marco. Some folks checked out and new ones checked in, as it always goes.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Since it was closed, we did not drink at Grown & Sexy II; instead, we simply lived it.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Further up toward Lawrenceville, we reached stop number seven: Maggie’s Farm Rum, a distillery, tasting room, and cocktail purveyor. It was here that our numbers swelled again, and we started to get a little saucy (while still keeping it both grown and sexy).

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Fortunately, we had the foresight to make the following stop a meal stop, at Franktuary in Lawrenceville. Only a few minutes off-schedule, we made it in and had a big lunch of hot dogs and fries….

Pub Golf #4: In Space
…while Timmy achieved his lifelong dream of receiving a package of gummy hot dogs.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Refueled once again, we paused for this group photo and then embarked up Butler Street to hole number nine, Belvederes Ultra-Dive, where a surprise awaited.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
A couple weeks earlier, Fox and I had run into one of the owners of Belvederes and mentioned Pub Golf in passing; he kindly offered to arrange for a round of dollar-off shots for our group. I accepted, on the condition that we not know ahead of time what the shots were. They turned out to be these potent sirens of 80s Nights past: Red-Headed Slut shots.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Needless to say, they left us feeling pretty good. (On the right is a new friend we made at the bar, Bebe.)

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We stopped in to The Abbey on Butler Street for some more cocktails and food, and then decided to take a quick break for shenanigans, like visiting an abandoned pool, and then having me pose for this statue photo.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We also paused to stop in at Lawrenceville Pet Supply and literally buy all their cat bananas.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
It’s always five o’clock somewhere, but when it’s five o’clock in Pittsburgh, there’s only one place to indulge: Allegheny Wine Mixer, our 11th stop.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We enjoyed top-notch cocktails, ate some cheese, and also introduced our cat banana to their buffalo.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We doubled back after AWM, closer to the heart of Lawrenceville, to stop in at Kelly’s Korner for shots and fried things. It was here where turnout really started to pick up.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
The crowd only grew at our next stop, Brillobox. Here we are outside, hardstyling.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We arrived at our next stop, Caliente Pizza and Draft House, a little later than planned. Thankfully, Fox’s Mum and Dad were there to hold down the fort…because when all was said and done, 23 of us showed up and totally overwhelmed the place. (Did I mention that the puck had just dropped for Game 1 of the NHL Eastern Conference Finals?)

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Half of our group ended up leaving first to hit stop number 15, while the other half of us remained behind to take this picture and wait for our pizza to be ready…

Pub Golf #4: In Space
…which promptly turned into Road Pizza.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
The next place we went, Sonny’s Tavern, was packed, but fortunately they had outdoor seats that allowed us to do shots with grace and class (and pizza).

Pub Golf #4: In Space
The Pens were losing, but we were all winners.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Stop 16, around 10:15pm, was at a location that Fox and I hold specially in our hearts: Cafe Sam, a place we’ve written of fondly before. When we arrived, their ice machine was broken and they were about to close their kitchen early, but they made us some appetizers and we got our round in. Note — on the far left, that’s not a super-drunk person; that’s a mannequin: Sam, the bar’s namesake, who ensures that you’ll never need to drink alone.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
Stop 17, at Le Mardi Gras in Shadyside, was where things got a little weird. Pictured here are the neon Harvey Wallbangers Fox and I enjoyed (made with fresh-squeezed orange juice!), because it was too dark inside to photograph anything else.

Pub Golf #4: In Space
This was the stop we said farewell to our Pub Golf champions of 2017, Laura and Timmy, who joined us at stop 3 and stuck with us all the way to this point. But we also said hello to Steve, who offered us a ride to the final stop, saving us a nearly-30-minute walk to…

Pub Golf #4: In Space
The Squirrel Cage!

Pub Golf #4: In Space
We celebrated our final stop with, yes, the Superstar pose.

After our 18th and final stop, at roughly 12:45am, we disbursed into the night. Fox and I went home, and after a long sleep…we immediately started thinking about Pub Golf 5: A New Beginning, and how we might possibly top what was clearly our best Pub Golf yet. Until next year!

1 Comment

Filed under #23, #23-17, #4, #4-17, bloomfield, cocktails, downtown, drinking, excess, jameson, lawrenceville, margaritas, pittsburgh, pizza, pub golf, shadyside, south side, squirrel hill, statue, strip district, tequila

One Response to Pub Golf In Space: An Epic Journey

  1. Woubbie

    OMG this is totally freaking awesome! Maybe next year I’ll join the ‘rents and play through a hole or two!

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